to all CANADIANS out there

Feeling bored? How about a big laugh?
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stone-head
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Post by stone-head » 12 Feb 2008, 9:19 am

Now that we have won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked! .. Enjoy!


Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.


Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.


Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.


Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)

A: What, did your last slave die?


Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked!


Q:Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ?(England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked!


Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ?(USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.



Please send this on to any Canadian (or others) who you think will enjoy it as much as I did.
:D :D

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Tamu
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Post by Tamu » 12 Feb 2008, 10:46 pm

good one!!!....i like the polar bear question!! :P

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Accord98
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Post by Accord98 » 15 Feb 2008, 11:14 pm

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahaha

ahahahahahahahah

ahahaha

ahah
aha


Omg that was good.... that was hilarious. Americans can be soo ignorant...

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RasHooD
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Post by RasHooD » 18 Feb 2008, 10:39 pm

awesome stone-head (Y)

canadiansupra
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Post by canadiansupra » 06 Mar 2008, 1:39 am

Its funny cuz i am canadian too lol. Its funny when im in the states and someones like where are you from. Canada. Oh ya where abouts.. Saskatoon, saskatchewan... Oh ya thats in british columbia right. No right in the center of canada sorry. Oh and they can never pronounce it right. My cousin worked at disney land there. She went to this one bar and showed her Saskatchewan government id and they didnt allow her in because they thought it was fake. Lol they had a book of all types of id from all over the world and Saskatchewan ID wasnt in there. They had manitoba, b.c, alberta, ontario, quebec everything except for saskatchewan. Eventually they let her in thou lol.

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Accord98
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Post by Accord98 » 06 Mar 2008, 11:40 am

^^Rofl, I always thought Sasketchwan was funny......


Imagine someone came with a Nunavut ID - Now that would have really thrown them off! :wink:



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